Inattentive ADD and Meditation-- Parallels

I have been told that many people have a "difficult time" with meditation. They find it difficult not only to sit still, but to "still the mind."

I was introduced to meditation (in the "formal" sense of the word) in the mid-1990s, as part of an enneagram and spiritual non-duality group I belonged to.

For me, the experience was never one of having "issues." Going into a meditative state seemed completely natural to me... sometimes to the point that it seemed like there wasn't any "going into" involved in the process.

I could sit still and "empty my mind" for hours and hours, without any provocation.

I never gave this much thought until the first time someone suggested that I might have ADD. As I have written before, for most of my life I never considered the possibility that ADD was an issue... because I was only familiar with the condition in the context of "distraction and manic/hyperactivity," as I'd experienced it with my ex. Sure, I had a hard time focusing... but (a) I could never relate to "bouncing off the walls" because I've always been a "low energy person" and (b) I rarely had significant issues with a "brain full of swirling thoughts"-- instead, I was just "going to sleep."

Narcolepsy was a consideration... except I didn't go to physical sleep.

But getting back to meditation... for me, it's almost a "natural state." My issue was never about how to "go into" meditation... rather it was about how to not go into meditation. My entire life has sometimes felt like a "meditative state" that I have had a difficult time "coming OUT of."

As I gain more understanding of inattentive ADD, I can see why meditation was always so easy for me... in many ways, it's "equivalent" to a meditative state...

ADD Topics: How Interruptions Cut my Productivity

I have written before about how "interruptions" are the bane of my existence, especially when I am working. Seems to be a fairly common experience for those who live with ADD (inattentive, or otherwise) that it's not only hard for us to get focused... once we're focused and then interrupted, it's extremely hard for us to get back to a focused place.

I already know that when I am 40 minutes "into" something and going well... if someone comes and "needs something" for five minutes... I just got "set back" 30 minutes on my progress with that task.

Yesterday, I was thinking about the subtle ways in which this can actually be a "double whammy." You see, there is only "so much time" in my work day. So here's what often happens: On a lot of occasions I end up not restarting-- at all-- because I realize (just an example) that "there's only 30 minutes till I have to run my errands."

How does that "work?"

Well, let's say I just got interrupted. Now I know (from experience) that it will take me 20 minutes to "get back on track." And it's only 30 minutes till I have to stop, anyway, for a "real" reason. Meaning I'll get in only 10 minutes of actual productivity... and I end up thinking "Bah... there's really NO POINT in starting up again.

It feels like a sort of "passive" or "inadvertent" time loss.

Of course, I often tell myself it's "just a rationalization" but I'm not so sure, these days. It feels like a very "real" and "practical" consideration, to me.

Vignette: The Fly in my Room

There's a fly in my room.

I expect it got here because we've had mice in the crawlspace above my office, and something died up there.

I realize that my annoyance with the fly's presence isn't what most people's might be, namely "It's a gross disease carrying creature-- ewwww!"

When I see the fly, out of the corner of my eye, it annoys me because it represents "another moving data point" in my existence-- another "thing" to watch, and to pull me away from what I was doing.

So now... I must stop what I am doing and get the fly.

There are layers, at times.

I broke off writing an article, when I saw the fly... and realized that I wanted to add these words about how I experienced the fly, in my space. Now I am breaking off these words, so I can go deal with the fly.

Sometimes... it gets hard to get off the "branches" and back to the main tree...