ADHD Coping Tools: Record Keeping and Concentration

I have been "keeping track of things" since I was a little kid.

I always used to think that it was merely something to help me because I seemed to have a pathetically poor memory. Ideas would come into my head; I might act on them and then have forgotten everything, 10 minutes later. As I learned more about psychology, it occurred to me that my desire to "keep track" of everything might not be memory related, but instead signs of OCD.

And yet?

I really wasn't "recording things" because I felt any kind of obsession, but because it helped me keep track of things; in a sense, the recording served as "place holders" that allowed me to be somewhat functional in life.

All these years later, I still "keep track" of a lot of things. As I have come to embrace the idea that this "thing" that causes me to lose my place so easily is not "poor memory," I have also come to understand that there are "tools" I have been using for most of my life... and whereas they may seem "weird" or "OCD-ish" to some, they are actually helping me.

So what exactly does "recording" what I do, in the course of a day, do to help me? It helps me restart abandoned projects where I left off, rather than leaving me to fumble around to figure out my "place." It helps me "manage" my efforts to keep 4-5 "project lines" running, side by side, without getting overwhelmed.

Yes, I do "lose some time" because it takes time to write things down, in addition to doing them, but it is not a major issue for me. The bottom line... recording things allow me to create some "illusion" that I am able to concentrate my efforts.

ADD Issues: Getting Defensive about Organization

Sometimes I get a little defensive about my "need" to be very organized.

On occasion, I've even been told that my "systems" border on the OCD-ish. I'll be the first to admit that I probably spend more time "organizing" than the average person. But do I really need to "lighten up" and "stop keeping all those lists" and "just let things unfold... you know, like NORMAL people do?"

To be honest, I get a little defensive, when I hear things like that.

For one, I followed the strategy of "normal people" for years and years... and found my life to be an eternal state of chaos in which things that "needed to be done" never got done and "unimportant things" would get done. It really didn't serve me very well.

About the same time I started using the expression "my train of thought has left the station... but I am still standing here on the platform," I came to the conclusion that the only way for me to be at least marginally functional in life would be to always "write it down" as soon as "it" occurred to me. Back then, I always carried a dayplanner around, and I bought extra "blank paper" pages for my endless lists of "stuff."

Truth be know, I did get more functionally effective at dealing with life. It no longer mattered whether or no my train of thought had "left" because I always "took a picture" of it, before it could leave me.

And people in the business world got very impressed with my ability to "remember" birthdays, anniversaries and other stuff... and that served me well.

The point, here, is that I don't know how to be "functional" in life, if I don't keep notes and lists of everything... because I can't remember what i was thinking, three minutes after I thought it. Sure, I have tried "brain training" programs and software, but it hasn't really "helped" me... not in an "effective" sense, anyway. Even though I test in the 95th percentile in terms of cognitive skills/abilities, it doesn't really help me, in a practical sense. I can focus on a little "cognition test" for a minute, score better than 99% of the population... but then what? I move on. Doing the "brain exercises" hasn't even helped me stay "awake."

So... I NEED my "organizational systems."

If you want to call them a "crutch," I'll accept that. I'm not good with the OCD-ish thing, though. I'm not "obsessed," I'm just trying to function, in life. And I'm using whatever tools I can, to help me do that...