Another Year... Filled With Distractions?

It's a fresh new year.

I have always tended to spend the first couple of weeks of any new year "taking inventory" of where I am in life and writing myself a series of "status updates." I suppose it is what I do, in lieu of focusing on so-called New Year's Resolutions.

There is something comforting (at least to me) about looking at "what was" and "what is" and examining "How I Am Doing."

I ponder the process and realize that the "comfort" I get from it comes in part from having this little island of "known" in my life... and because it allows me to give myself an occasional "cookie" for having done something pretty well in such a way that my eternal tendency to get distracted didn't completely derail some plan or project I was trying to work through.

Somebody-- who may or may not have been wise-- once said that our tendency to get distracted from our Present as much as anything is the result of not particularly liking that Present. It's more pleasant to go into some distraction from that Present so that's what we do. This would apply to all people, not just those of us living with ADHD.

Of course, the implication there is that we are unhappy with our "Present."

I have sat with that conundrum a number of times, because I definitely like my Present-- getting back to "taking inventory--" and am pretty happy about the life I have managed to create for myself.

But on deeper reflection, there are flies in the proverbial ointment.

Even though I totally like my present... hereunder the odd way I have managed to create multiple micro-businesses that earn income... my "dirty little secret" is that I don't like the way it feels like a draining, 24/7, balls-to-the-wall effort to do enough with those things (which I enjoy) that they can afford our household even the most basic of livings. Feeling like you have to constantly "be working," simply to live "from shut-off notice to shut-off notice" (the self-employed version of "paycheck-to-paycheck") is extraordinarily draining.

And for someone with ADHD... the temptation to UN-focus, and not merely do the human thing of tuning out the difficulties of the Present, but fall prey to ADHD distraction is huge. Almost insurmountable.

Of course, I may simply have unrealistic expectations about "what it takes" to make it, in life. Seems like half the world is struggling to make ends meet.

So anyway, in the process of taking inventory and looking at what 2016 might hold-- what I would like it to hold-- it would seem like I have done a pretty fair job of creating "systems" to help me be as efficient as possible while switching between tasks. Now the challenge just becomes about efficiency, or how to put in about the same amount of time and effort, to come out with an increase in revenues and income.

I'll have to get back with you on how that turns out!

Musings about the "Restarting Issue"

When I try to do something, I eventually hit a "groove"... if only I stay with it, long enough. Once I'm in a groove... the worst thing that can happen is someone interrupting me.

The problem?

It takes me forever to figure out "where I was" when I was interrupted, and then get back to moving forward again. In other words, a 5-minute interruption by someone who has an "unrelated question" can lead to my spending 20 minutes just getting back to the spot where I left off.

I have heard others who live with inattentive ADD speak of this issue.

It feels like I have an utter and complete inability to "bookmark" stopping points in the daily process of life... and sometimes I end up wasting what feels like a huge part of my day doing little more than "running in place," trying to get back to work.

I am actually remarkably productive when I am left alone in a quiet room with only my music and no interruptions and my tasks I need to get done.

As a writer, I can turn out 1500 words of high quality article prose in less than an hour... but if someone interrupts me-- even when the article is 95% done... it suddenly becomes almost impossible for me to finish the task. It seems stupid. Or dysfunctional... because it's all right there. Yes? I can't "access" my train of thought anymore.

I used to say (jokingly) "My train of thought has left the station, but I am still standing on the platform."

Alas, it's far more "real" than a joking matter.

It's hard to describe what physically happens. I can only think of it through the analogy of using your web browser. The "tab" I am working on, not only "closes" when an interruption forces me to switch to another tab... but when I need to get back to the closed tab, I need to spend all this time searching through my "browser history" to find the page I was working on. And once I get the "old" tab opened again... then I am struggling to remember exactly what my last "operation" was... and what my "next step" was supposed to be.

It makes very simple tasks extremely laborious. And I have not yet found an effective way around it...