ADHD Coping Tools: Record Keeping and Concentration

I have been "keeping track of things" since I was a little kid.

I always used to think that it was merely something to help me because I seemed to have a pathetically poor memory. Ideas would come into my head; I might act on them and then have forgotten everything, 10 minutes later. As I learned more about psychology, it occurred to me that my desire to "keep track" of everything might not be memory related, but instead signs of OCD.

And yet?

I really wasn't "recording things" because I felt any kind of obsession, but because it helped me keep track of things; in a sense, the recording served as "place holders" that allowed me to be somewhat functional in life.

All these years later, I still "keep track" of a lot of things. As I have come to embrace the idea that this "thing" that causes me to lose my place so easily is not "poor memory," I have also come to understand that there are "tools" I have been using for most of my life... and whereas they may seem "weird" or "OCD-ish" to some, they are actually helping me.

So what exactly does "recording" what I do, in the course of a day, do to help me? It helps me restart abandoned projects where I left off, rather than leaving me to fumble around to figure out my "place." It helps me "manage" my efforts to keep 4-5 "project lines" running, side by side, without getting overwhelmed.

Yes, I do "lose some time" because it takes time to write things down, in addition to doing them, but it is not a major issue for me. The bottom line... recording things allow me to create some "illusion" that I am able to concentrate my efforts.

"Functional" Distractions... as an ADHD Coping Tool

I am eternally looking for ways to make my "scattered" life easier to navigate.

For a few years now, one of my most effective tools has been finding ways to engage myself in what I think of as "Functional Distractions."

The bane of my existence (and the underlying cause for much of my non-productivity) was always the fact that I would get sidetracked into doing "useless things" and end up with a day where I actually worked for maybe 30 minutes (net) and spent ten hours exploring a variety of mostly useless "rabbit holes."

Some part of me wants to rationalize that I was sidetracking because it was the only way to stay awake, and that maybe my research would "be useful some day," but that excuse has never really done me much good. Bottom line-- for 99.9% of the population-- is that unless we work, and actually accomplish things, we can't pay for our rent, power bill and groceries.

As a self-employed person for almost a couple of decades now, the temptation presented by alluring distractions has always been great. It is just soooo easy to stop to check email, check Facebook, follow a link, and before I know it, another two hours have been eaten off the clock. Of course, since my issue is "inattentiveness," I also have to be constantly on alert for simply "staring out the window" (for 45 minutes) or day dreaming.

I have already written about my "scattered work" which I call making a living... and it is really the result of deciding that it is inevitable that I am going to sidetrack... so when I do sidetrack, why not make it to something "functional" rather than something "useless?"

There is a certain irony in the fact that this blog was started as a form of "side tracking," because I felt like I'd be unable to find my ramblings about living with ADHD among the thousands of posts that make up my private personal journal. Besides... it seemed like a right thing to write this stuff "out in public," just in case someone else might see it and find it useful.

"Functional Distractions" is a system by which I give myself "permission" to get sidetracked from something that needs to be done... as long as I sidetrack into something else that needs to get done. Running a number of microbusinesses is ideal in the sense that I can switch between very different tasks-- all of which need to get done. I can write here, then go list five things on eBay, then do some photography, then do ten minutes of book keeping, and it's all "in bounds," even though I am flitting around like a hummingbird on crack.

It may not be the most efficient way to work, but it's a lot more productive-- at least for me-- than trying to focus on a single task and then zoning out permanently after 30 minutes.

ADD and Thinking Things Through Before you Act

Sometimes I sit here and simply contemplate the deeper nature of "scatteredness."

How do I become so scattered? What is the mechanism that leads to hundreds of "started by unfinished" projects, by the end of the day? What is the "trigger" that causes me to abandon something I really need to get done, so I can "mess around" with some idea that has no current bearing on what is important?

From time to time, I talk about "Too Many Interests Syndrome." Of course, that's basically an excuse; a rationalization. Sure, I have more interests than most people... and lots of random things I see seem "interesting," but that's not the core issue. LOTS of people experience that. This is a "management" issue.

I used to think that my scatteredness was a result of "feeling resentful" of "having to DO things." I did years of psychoanalysis, chasing my own tail... thinking about being "resentful" of having been raised in a family od "doers" who (in essence) saw my value as tied directly to what I could DO, rather than who I could BE. I was only "seen" (and loved, I felt) for what I could DO for my parents, and so I ended up connecting "feeling loved" with my own ability to do things... even though I actually prefer not to be engaged in constant activity.

By extension, it placed me close to a frame of mind of resentment. A sort of digging in my heels when I reached the "freedom of adulthood" and could make my own choices... every time life gave me something I "had to" do I would space out as a passive aggressive "rebellion" against always having been told what to DO in my life. Of course, usually to my detriment.

But all that psychobabble was really a dead end. Back when I was in therapy, "ADD/ADHD" was exclusively focused on "that hyperactive kid bouncing off the walls, unable to focus and making trouble." And that was never me.

My "issue" was always getting me to move, at all. I'm only half kidding when I say "I have almost never met an idea that could inspire me to actually want to put forth any concentrated effort." Which is not to say that I lack enthusiasm about ideas... just that I invariably end up "dabbling a bit" and then zoning out or "falling asleep to myself."

But let's get back to the "mechanism of scatteredness."

The word I keep coming back to is "obligation." I have a nasty "allergy" to the idea of feeling obligated. The instant something I'm engaged in starts to feel like "an obligation" (like my self-imposed timetable that my eBay auction lots MUST be ready by 7:00pm on Sunday evening) I feel my ability to concentrate go right out the window. It literally feels like the cells in my brain responsible for "focus" commit suicide by jumping out of my ears.

When I am engaged in doing "Thing X" as nothing more than an "exploration" with "no purpose" and "no deadline" and "no expected outcome" I am actually very productive and focused. I can get an amazing amount of stuff done in a short time, as long as I steer far clear of any "you must" thoughts.

So that's a big part of it, right there.

Another aspect of this mechanism is perhaps an intolerance of drudgery. I was going to say "boredom," but that's not really accurate. I'm perfectly content watching grass grow for hours and hours... It's a zoning out "activity" that has no stated purpose and no obligation attached; so no concentration is required.

It's not easy digging around in this stuff, and trying to truly get to the bottom of it.

Getting back to the title of this post-- this "drifting away" often happens because I am not "Present" enough in my own situation (of that moment) to stop and think through what I am about to do, when I want to skip away. It "just happens." When I DO manage to stay present in my own process of the moment, I have far fewer issues with losing my place and zoning out. I "think before I act," rather than "act before thinking." And usually-- even though it requires a kind of "concentration"-- I manage to talk myself into just staying with what I am doing.

I feel that an active "mindfulness practice" is definitely (or CAN be) an important part of managing ADD.

The Challenges of Being a Writer with ADD

Some observations on being a writer, and living with ADD... few of these will probably come as much of a surprise to anyone.

I have never (touching wood here!) had an issue with so-called "Writer's Block." My ideas flow pretty liberally at all times, and many of them are pretty creative and insightful ideas.

My problem is that my "execution rate" utterly sucks.

I am primarily an "article writer." Although I have ambitions to write books as well, I feel rather daunted by the prospect of "holding a train of thought" long enough to complete a book... even though I can intellectually convince myself that a book is nothing more than "a collection of chapters," each of which I can call a "short" piece of writing.

That's easier said than done.

So I'll just stick to my troubles with writing articles.

My desk is currently littered with several hundred small notes of paper, on which I have "rough sketched" (by hand-- I actually like writing by hand) basic outlines and ideas for articles I'd like to write.

In addition to this, I have the folder on my hard drive called "Ideas Repository," into which I have placed hundreds of articles in various stages of completion. The vast majority of them range from "basic outline" to "about 50% done." That said, there are also dozens that are nearly complete, and just require proofreading or "researching a couple of facts" in order to be finished.

And yet? There they SIT, most of the time. And rather than work on some of these "old" ideas, I am eternally adding "new notes" to the top of my article hopper.

Sometimes I laugh at myself-- and then get sad-- because I realize that if I'd actually finished and published them all, I'd probably be making about $1500.00 in monthly royalties from them.

That said, I have actually gotten better at managing my "circus." Good management of something like I am facing here revolves around picking my "battles" carefully. I have learned to "sort" my ideas into "hot" (things I really must work on... NOW), "next" (things I need to keep fresh in mind for the next open slot in the "hot" category) and "later," (which are basically the ideas I'm not that attached to).

I've previously written about using a system of "notes" in lieu of an actual to-do list-- and I do that with writing, as well. I "map out" the different steps I need to complete with each of my "hot" article ideas, and then write a "to do note" for each stage. Watching the "visual progress" of the to-do notes getting thrown away seems to actually inspire me to get focused and work. It has allowed me to more than triple my output of finished work that actually gets published somewhere. And that's a good thing, because I have ambitions to eventually "fund" my scattered self largely through passive income in the form of ongoing royalties from web writing.

Of course, "those days" are still a ways off... but I am seeing enough actual progress now that I no longer "reject" focusing, with as much force as I used to.

ADD Coping Tools: Using Timers

I learned-- a long time ago-- that I have a short little span of attention.

Well... DUH!

What I also learned-- which is perhaps not as obvious-- is that I am able to stay quite focused on a task, if I am only dealing with it for a short time.

For example, as part of my work I list large numbers of items for sale on auction site eBay. If, for example, I want to add 120 new items on any given Sunday (not an uncommon event, in my life!), I have to create all those listings-- each with a description, measurements of the item, statement of condition and photographs-- first. And that will most likely be a 12-hour odyssey.

Now if you tell the average ADD/ADHD sufferer that they need to sit down and focus on something for 12 hours straight, they will probably break into hives. For someone like me-- with inattentive ADD-- even the mere thought makes me feel sleepy and inclined to walk away to sit and stare at the leaves blowing in the breeze outside.

All that said, I have to get the stuff out there, or I'm not going to be making a living.

I used to struggle mightily with these "listing marathons" (I've been selling on eBay since 1998) and they were always the least favorite part of my work. It would just be soooo difficult to stay on task, and I would quite frequently catch myself "nodding off" in front of the computer because the "scope" of the task ahead was enough to put me to sleep.

After some experimentation, I discovered that I could "do quite well" if I started keeping track of my progress. I started having little "time charts" next to me, and tracking-- hour by hour-- how many listings I would create. I would turn it into a small "game" with myself, eventually determining that 10 items per hour was a pretty good rate of progress.

Out of these "progress charts" grew the idea that I could use clocks and timers to break large and seeminly overwhelming tasks into much smaller and less daunting parts. I now keep an alarm clock on my desk, next to the computer, so I can monitor tasks. My overall productivity (or "output," if you will) has increased tremendously after I have started chopping my large projects into small chunks.

When you have ADD... and especially the inattentive kind, where you are not "bouncing off the walls," using little tricks with time seem very beneficial.

In my last post, I wrote about my system of creating "task slips" to represent my daily "To-do List." As an example of "how that works," for my "eBay marathon" tomorrow, I have created a whole little stack of time slips, each representing "listing 5 items." Each small task represents about 25-30 minutes of focus... and I know I can grab a note, look at my clock... and before 30 minutes are up, I can throw that slip in the trash bin.

What's more... if I knuckle down and get the listings done in 23 minutes? I get to reward myself by walking around, or maybe looking at Facebook, or something else.

Using timers to break large time periods into smaller chunks doesn't really affect the actual volume of work I need to get done... it merely "re-frames" how I perceive the work. Or, you might say I am using "Jedi mind tricks" on my own brain.

It's a HELL of a lot easier-- and cheaper, and safer-- than pumping your body full of pharmaceuticals with God-knows-what kind of side effects.

ADD Coping Tools: Using Notes and To-do Lists

I have always started my day by writing in my journal.

In the "old" days, I would write by hand-- sometimes I still do-- these days I mostly sit down at the keyboard and start typing. Mornings always seem to be my best time of the day-- my mind doesn't feel "cluttered" yet, so I tend to be pretty relaxed and feel quite focused.

Some years ago, I read a book called "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron. It's an excellent book, by the way, and I recommend it to anyone of an artistic or creative nature. Anyway, one of my main "take aways" from reading The Artists Way (and doing all the attendant articles) was a better understanding of why I always liked to journal in the morning.

Author Julia Cameron calls her version of writing in the morning "Morning Pages," and she advocated writing by hand... which I generally don't, alas. Morning Pages require you to get up and write-- whatever comes to mind-- FIRST THING. Don't turn on the TV, or the radio, or read the paper, or watch CNN or even talk to your spouse or kids... just sit down and WRITE, before your mind becomes "polluted" with anything but your own thoughts after you've slept.

One of the great "values" she lists is that Morning Pages help you "empty your mind" for the day.

When I first read that statement-- some years ago, now, I came to realize just how valuable "emptying my head" IS, to me, first thing every morning. It has become a "practice," a "discipline," almost like a form of spirituality.

Now, let's sidetrack for a bit...

I have depended on "keeping lists" for ages and ages. When I was a teenager, my friends thought I was "weird" because I kept lists, "just like OLD people do." Well, without those lists, I was pretty much non-functional. I don't know that I was aware of that, at the time... I just knew that keeping lists made my daily life a lot easier.

A pile of "task slips" created by the end of my journaling

As I have grown older, I've increasingly come to understand how important the structure of a to-do list is. If you have ADD-- and inattentive ADD, like me-- putting things like "paint the garage" on your list is worse than useless.

Why?

Because tasks that are "too big" will never get done. I will zone out before I ever get them taken care of. I was probably in my mid-30's when I realized that I was far more likely to get things done if I made a long to-do list of small tasks, rather than a short to-list of large tasks. The "net effect" was basically the same, but the "success rate" of the former was much higher.

Recently, I have developed the "small tasks" method a bit further... by writing each small task on its own small piece of paper, and then throwing away that piece of paper when I am done with the task. I tend to be very visual in nature, so literally watching my to-do list get thrown away, bit by bit, tends to keep me moving.

In addition, having individual notes-- like a small deck of cards-- allows me to shuffle tasks in order, and whenever I think of something new while "in the middle of something" (and we ALL know how often that happens!) I can just write it on another small slip of paper, and shuffle it in with the others in an order that "makes sense."

What's more, if I get to the end of the day and have pieces of paper with tasks "left over," I can just carry them forward to tomorrow-- no need to waste time on transferring today's undone items to tomorrow's list... because there is no actual "list" just small pieces of paper with "tasks" on them.

To some, this might sound really cumbersome... but I have actually found it to be a time saver, because I don't think of the things I need to do on any given day "in order." So when something relating to a "larger" project is suddenly remembered, I can just write it down and put it into the right sequence.

Now, let's get back to writing in the morning, and the process of "emptying my brain."

By sitting down, first thing in the morning and writing in my (online) journal, I can also "empty my head" of all the things I think of, that "need doing," on that day. I often end my journaling session with a whole pile of small "to-do notes," and my mind is pretty clear... instead of carrying a whole bunch of "OMG! I need to ____" bits in my head, they are "outta there" and onto my desk. That-- alone-- allows me to stay far more focused and clear headed, when it comes to dealing with that day's work.

Try it! You might like it!

Music Really Helps...

I have long used the saying "Music is my mind-altering substance of choice."

It has always been said as a bit of a joke-- because I tend to be "squeaky-clean" when it comes to addictive behaviors-- but there's actually a hidden element of truth there.

I do use music to keep my mind on track-- and I have, for a very long time.

We all know that music has the ability to "create a mood," and perhaps to bring up old memories. There are good reasons they use scene-specific music in movies, and good reasons why they play the music they play at airports, shopping malls and store. Your mind is "being influenced."

For me, there's a lot more to it, than that. I find that I can use music to "induce" certain moods that allow me to stay focused on certain tasks... where silence (or a different kind of music) would quickly drive me to distraction.

The same holds true for my wife-- who has the better known and more studied "conventional" ADHD with hyperactivity.

We both discovered-- independently of each other-- that techno and trance music (electronica) enables is to focus much better on repetitive and "long" tasks. Somehow, the upbeat, rapid drum-synth beat provides some kind of "brain interrupt" that improves out ability to focus.

What's particularly interesting about this is that even though we have quite different "variants" of ADD, we successfully incorporate listening to the same genre of music as "productivity tools."

Unlike her, however, I tend to use a more "chilled" or slower music style for when I write. It feels like it helps me access long term memories, while still staying awake.

It does make sense to me-- we "use" meditative styles of music in conjunction with hypnosis; at the same time, shamans use a repetitive drumbeat (very similar beats-per-minute as trance music) to induce altered mind states for people they are helping with things like soul retrievals and shamanic journeying.

Like other ways I have found to help me stay focused in life, I started "using" it as a therapeutic helping tool long before anyone diagnosed me with ADD.