ADHD vs. ADD: A Matter of Semantics?

For as long as I have been aware that the "situation" applied to me, I have been using the acronym "ADD" to describe myself, because the "hyperactivity" part of ADHD has never applied to me.

I never paid that much attention (no pun intended), figuring that the whole "ADD vs. ADHD" debate was mostly an issue of semantics. Which, as it turns out, is not really true... my using "ADD" is actually outdated.

My "condition" is correctly characterized as "ADHD-- Inattentive Type," so I suppose I should start to use that term, to avoid ambiguity. The term actually annoys me a little bit because I always feel compelled to add "but the 'H' part does not apply to me."

Which, in turn, makes me think about how we often end up with major differences between the "clinical definition" of something, and the "public interpretation" of the same thing. When you tell someone you're afflicted with ADHD, they've already jumped to the conclusion that you were "that unruly kid bouncing around the back of the classroom."

I already know about this situation because I am also an "HSP" or "Highly Sensitive Person" (Dr. Elaine N. Aron, 1996). Whereas this refers to sensory-processing sensitivity and a heightened awareness of sensory inputs, most people "assume" that sensitivity means you get your feelings hurt really easily... which is completely wrong. And so, telling anyone you're an HSP inevitably includes a long ramble to explain what the acronym really means.

Interestingly enough, there are a number of similarities between how being an HSP and an how ADHD-Inattentive manifest. I should probably write about that, some day.

Anyway... I guess I should start using the "correct" terminology, around here.

I'm NOT a Kid!

Many moons ago, I spent quite a lot of time researching "giftedness."

At the time, I was trying to get a better grip on my sensitivity, and someone had told me that there was actual research showing that the more "gifted" an individual is, the more both introverted and sensitive they tend to be. I put quite a lot of effort into learning about giftedness-- and the studies done by Polish psychologist and physician Kazimierz Dabrowski-- as part of trying to get a grip on my "issues."

Needless to say, I also got involved with the global "G/T Community" (G/T = "Gifted and Talented") as part of my learning process.

One of the things that was interesting to me... a strange "G/T Community Bias," if you will... is that there was aaaallll this talk, and information, and support, and research, and conversation, and programs for gifted and talented kids. It was just one endless parade of stuff relating to kids, kids, kids, kids, kids.

Any time I started taking about trying to understand the ins and out of adult giftedness-- and the attendant challenges and life complications-- it felt a bit like speaking into a void. Once in a while, someone would make a very peripheral reference to "gifted adults" but it was pretty uncommon.

What I found ironic about this was that a majority of these parents totally absorbed in understanding gifted kids were actually gifted, themselves. And were having all sorts of issues trying to deal with their own lives... but were categorically either in denial about their giftedness, or steadfastly refused to look at it... saying things like "Oh no, that's not really important..."

Whereas I totally honor their dedication to supporting gifted kids, there was an unfortunate (and rarely discussed) dynamic there... in the sense that these "gifted kids" would receive all sorts of support, encouragement, programs and special treatment... and then they would turn 18, and suddenly "be on their own" because they were no longer kids. AS IF, you turn 18, and suddenly all the issues inherent in being "gifted" are magically switched off and you are suddenly a "normal" human being?

Sooo.... what does this have to do with this ADD blog?

Well, the more I peruse information about ADD/ADHD around the web, the more I seem to run into a similar "kid bias" in the ADD/ADHD "community," albeit not as pronounced as it was in the G/T community, some 15-20 years ago.

I can hear people say "Yeah, but it's important that we HELP kids with ADD/ADHD!"

I agree! Absolutely, 100%! And I'm not trying to be a grumpy old man, here...

But it's also important that we keep in perspective that ADD/ADHD does not magically "go away" just because you become an adult. What's more, if you keep in mind that kids are 0-18 years of age, and adults are 19-100 years of age... there are going to be a lot more adults with ADD/ADHD than there are kids!

So why am I ranting about this?

Well, I'm an adult, and I am an adult with the "inattentive" variant of ADD. Not ADHD. There's no "H" in my universe. And I'm telling you what... it is tough to get many Google search hits that aren't (a) about kids and (b) about inattentive ADD. Of course, it's tough search, because the first forty million results have to do with "adding" something... not the case with ADHD.

So if you read this-- and know more than me-- please leave a comment and suggest places on the web that have good information about Adult Inattentive ADD. Thank you!

ADD... and the Ebbs and Flows of Productivity

I am not really sure whether it's a "good" or "bad" thing that I have chosen to be in business for myself and to work from home.

What I do know about myself is that my productivity ebbs and flows quite a bit. It's either "feast or famine," with very little in between. As I have "watched myself" over the years, I've also become more and more aware of what influences my productivity.

Clearly-- at least in my world-- suffering from "Too Many Interests Syndrome" is part and parcel of living with ADD. During what I call my "macro periods" of productivity, I am very aware of being able to "keep up with my brain" (or at least coming very close) and being able to turn the endless thoughts into something... "output," if you will. I may not be able to deal with everything "as I think of it," but using my system of "writing notes" about every idea that comes up... and then leaving it at that... I am able to function a bit like a cook in a busy kitchen. Each new idea-- on a slip of paper-- is "order up," and I am able to keep a "sequence" of work going... and get caught up sometimes.

These days don't mean I don't have "too much on my plate," they just mean that I don't "get lost" because I am too scattered.

On any given day-- or week, or month-- my ability to keep up seems inversely proportional to the amount of "pressure" (usually of a financial/practical nature) I feel like I am under. Some people really thrive when they are in a "pressure cooker" situation with their life... I'm really not one of them.

OK... not entirely true.

If I have a massive deadline on ONE thing to do, I work super well "to a deadline." That's different from the pressure of being overwhelmed by a large quantity of things to do.

As an example, I got a huge block of "eBay stuff" taken care of by the close of business on Sunday... meaning we'll have a substantial inflow of cash from those sales by next Sunday... that takes pressure off, and this week feels like I am being very "productive." Instead of just sitting there, feeling overwhelmed by the sheer size of my pile of "to do notes," I am actually feeling like I am going to get through it.

And I am saying that, even as I am well aware that I have "paused" several times to add new "order up" slips to this week's work load.

For me, part of effectively managing my life has a lot to do with making the most of my "macro creative periods" WHEN they are happening.

I am not an Expert on Inattentive ADD-- but then again, I AM

What makes someone an "expert?"

It depends on who you ask. Some people would argue that you can't be an "expert" on something unless you spent 12 years in university studying the problem, and now how have a bunch of "initials" after your name.

By that measure, I am NOT an "expert" on Inattentive ADD/ADHD.

On the other hand, as of this writing I am 52 years old and have lived with the condition all my life. So you can argue that I have "52 years experience in the field." And that certainly accounts for something. Would you listen to someone who's been avidly gardening for 50+ years if-- however-- they did not have a Ph.D. in Horticulture?

Two important things to keep in mind about this site:

1. I am not pretending to be an "expert" on anything, I am merely sharing my personal experience. These are not "how to" columns, rather they are my stories of "I did this, as a consequence of which that happened." I'm not saying it's gonna work for you, merely that it worked for me (or not!).

2. I am not pretending that this site is an "advice column" or a place that "prescribes" a specific healing methodology. I am not a doctor or a mental health professional. Again, I am merely sharing my personal experience, from living, breathing and eating "this thing," every single day of my life.

"Expert" is a bit of a nebulous term, in my experience. Somebody with a Harvard doctorate in business management will bring something different to the table than somebody who's been running a business for 30 years. Neither is necessarily "right" or "wrong." They are just different.

An Explanation, of Sorts...

I need another blog, about as much as I need another hole in my head.

Ironically, my decision to start this one serves as a beautiful illustration of the condition I live with: I am an adult with the "Inattentive" version of ADHD. Or, rather "ADD." Because there is nothing "hyperactive" about me...

Even though I already have a dozen-odd "perfectly good" blogs, I have gotten sidetracked into taking on another one. "Sidetracking" is pretty much my middle name, as well as the bane of my existence.

There's a lot of information about ADD/ADHD on the web... but the vast majority seems to be about the "hyperactive" variant.

I'm not really sure what I am hoping to accomplish here.

Perhaps this is just going to be a "sanity journal," of sorts. Or it might end up being where I store useful information I find, insights and ideas. Then again, maybe it will turn into some kind of "social tool," through which I connect with others in the same boat as I.

I really wanted to use the name "Letters from La La Land," but that name (and the corresponding web domain) was already taken. So I nabbed this one, instead.

So what exactly IS "La La Land?"

It's the strange "brain fog" inattentive ADD sufferers live with. It's really hard to describe briefly, and by looking directly at... but in the months and years ahead, I shall endeavor to share experiences that might at least hint at what I am talking about.